Tips for Building Self Confidence:
Confidence is not something that
can be learned like a set of rules; confidence is a state of mind. Positive
thinking, practice, training, knowledge and talking to other people are all
useful ways to help improve or boost your confidence levels.
Confidence comes from feelings of
well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your
own ability, skills and experience.
Low-confidence can be a result of
many factors including: fear of the unknown, criticism, being unhappy with
personal appearance (self-esteem), feeling unprepared, poor time-management,
lack of knowledge and previous failures.
Confidence is not a static
measure, our confidence to perform roles and tasks can increase and decrease;
some days we may feel more confident than others.
This article provides practical
advice about things that you can do to build your confidence.
Confidence and self-esteem are
not the same thing, although they are often linked. Confidence is the term we
use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and
tasks. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we
think - whether or not we feel worthy or valued. People with low self-esteem
often also suffer from generally low confidence, but people with good
self-esteem can also have low confidence. It is also perfectly possible for
people with low self-esteem to be very confident in some areas.
Performing a role or completing a
task confidently is not about not making mistakes. Mistakes are
inevitable, especially when doing something new. Confidence includes knowing
what to do when mistakes come to light and therefore is also about problem
solving and decision making.
Ways to Improve Confidence:
- Planning and Preparation
People often feel less confident
about new or potentially difficult situations. Perhaps the most important
factor in developing confidence is planning and preparing for the unknown.
If you are applying for a new job
for example, you would be wise to prepare for the interview. Plan what you
would want to say in the interview and think about some of the questions that
you may be asked. Practice your answers with friends or colleagues and gain
their feedback.
There are many other examples of
planning for an interview; perhaps you should visit the hairdresser before you
go. How are you going to travel to the interview, how long will the journey
take? What should you wear? Take control of unknown situations the best you
can, break down tasks into smaller sub-tasks and plan as many as you can.
- Learning, Knowledge and Training
Learning and research can help us
to feel more confident about our ability to handle situations, roles and tasks.
Knowing what to expect and how
and why things are done will add to your awareness and usually make you feel
more prepared and ultimately more confident. Learning and gaining knowledge can
sometimes make us feel less confident about our abilities to perform roles and
tasks, when this happens we need to combine our knowledge with experience. By
doing something we have learned a lot about we put theory to practice which
develops confidence and adds to the learning and comprehension.
First-time parents to-be may well
feel nervous and less than confident about having a baby. They are likely to
buy books or visit websites which can offer advice and dispel some of the
mysteries. They are also likely to talk to other parents to gain knowledge and
understanding.
In the workplace, training may be
provided for staff to teach them how to manage or work with new systems and
procedures. During a period of organizational change this is particularly
important as many people will naturally resist changes. However if those
affected by the changes are given adequate information and training then such
resistances can usually be minimized.
- Positive Thought
Positive thought can be a very
powerful way of improving confidence.
Optimism is the faith that leads
to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
There is a lot of information
about positive thinking both online and in print. The basic rules of positive
thinking are to highlight your strengths and successes and learn from your
weaknesses and mistakes. This is a lot easier than it sounds, we often dwell on
things that we are not happy with from our past - making them into bigger
issues than they need to be. These negative thoughts can be very damaging to
confidence and your ability to achieve goals.
- Experience
As we successfully complete tasks
and goals, our confidence that we can complete the same and similar tasks again
increases.
Gaining experience and taking the
first step can, however, be very difficult. Often the thought of starting
something new is worse than actually doing it, this is where preparation,
learning and thinking positively can help. Break roles and tasks down into
small achievable goals. Make each one of your goals fit SMART criteria. That is
to make goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timed.
- Be Assertive
Being assertive also means that
you can change your mind if you believe it is the right thing to do, not
because you are under pressure from somebody else. Assertiveness, confidence
and self-esteem are all very closely linked - usually people become naturally
more assertive as they develop their confidence.
- Avoid Arrogance
Arrogance is detrimental to
interpersonal relationships.
As your confidence grows and you
become successful, avoid feeling or acting superior to others. Remember -
nobody is perfect, there is always more that you can learn. Celebrate your
strengths and successes and recognize your weaknesses and failures. Give others
credit for their work - use compliments and praise sincerely. Be courteous and
polite and show an interest in what others are doing, ask questions and get
involved.
Admit to your mistakes and be
prepared to laugh at yourself!
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