Tips for Communicating in Difficult Situations:
Most people want to avoid conflict and potentially stressful situations – this is human nature.
People often find it easier to avoid communicating something that they think is going to be controversial or bad, putting off the communication and letting the situation fester.
A manager may hold off telling an employee that their standard of work is unsatisfactory. You may put off having that 'difficult' conversation with your partner, especially if it concerns some kind of wrongdoing, financial or emotional issues. A child may put off telling their parents that they are struggling with classes at school.
Most people can think of times when they have put off having that ‘difficult’ conversation, most people will also recognize that putting off the difficult conversation alleviates short-term anxiety. However, constantly putting off difficult communication situations often leads to feelings of frustration, guilt, annoyance with oneself, anger, a reduction in self-confidence and ultimately more stress and anxiety.
By following some simple guidelines and using some well-tuned communication skills communicating in difficult situations becomes easier.
There has to be a balance between communicating something difficult and being as sensitive as possible to those concerned.
The skill set required to do this may seem somewhat contradictory as you may need to be both firm and gentle in your approach.
Recommended skills include:
- Information Gathering:
Make sure you have your facts straight before you begin, know what you are going to say and why you are going to say it. Try to anticipate any questions or concerns others may have and think carefully about how you will answer questions.
Being Assertive:
Once you are sure that something needs to be communicated then do so in an assertive way. Do not find yourself backing down or changing your mind mid-conversation, unless of course there is very good reason to do so.
- Being Empathic:
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think about how they will feel about what you are telling them; how would you feel if the roles were reversed? Give others time to ask questions and make comments.
- Being Prepared to Negotiate:
Often a difficult situation requires a certain amount of negotiation, be prepared for this. When negotiating, aim for a win-win outcome – that is, some way in which all parties can benefit.
- Using Appropriate Verbal and Non-Verbal Language:
Speak clearly avoiding any jargon that other parties may not understand, give eye contact and try to sit or stand in a relaxed way. Do not use confrontational language or body language.
Listen:
When stressed we tend to listen less well, try to relax and listen carefully to the views, opinions and feelings of the other person/people. Use clarification and reflection techniques to offer feedback and demonstrate that you were listening.
Staying Calm and Focused:
Communication becomes easier when we are calm, take some deep breaths and try to maintain an air of calmness, others are more likely to remain calm if you do. Keep focused on what you want to say, don’t deviate or get distracted from the reason that you are communicating.
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